You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup

SELF CARE = SELF RESPECT

With the holidays fast approaching usually the focus turns to EVERYONE else and no matter how good we are at filling our cups, we tend to burn out quickly and start the new year off on rough footing. Self Care is SO important to be able to keep doing all the things you want to do over the holidays but it actually looks very different for everyone! 

Self care for some might mean making sure they are in bed early so that they can get up before everyone else for their morning silence and workout time. For others it might look like meal prepping so that they know they are staying on track with their nutrition goals and for others it might mean child care for their littles and taking one day a week to just be alone in the silence, enjoy a massage, hot bath, or popcorn and a movie of YOUR choice. 

"KEEPING YOUR BODY HEALTHY IS AN EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE."
                                                                                                                  —Thich Nhat Hanh.

A huge part of keeping ourselves healthy is SELF-CARE! It's often overlooked as part of our health and fitness journeys, but it's essential. What would happen if we all started to give ourselves the same care and attention that we give to others? Like this hit me HARD when I realized that I was giving every part of myself to others and leaving nothing left which resulted in a full blown mental breakdown and becoming diagnosed with high anxiety... You can't pour from an empty cup, so filling yours is super-important, especially during the rush of the holidays!

Self-care looks and feels different to everyone, it's about finding those things that help you manage your stress, enjoy the holiday's and take a little time for you!!

Here are a few things that might do it for you:

-->GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP A MASSAGE<--

-->A WALK IN THE PARK<--

-->READING A GOOD BOOK<--

-->GETTING ENOUGH WATER<--

-->STAYING COMMITTED TO YOUR NUTRITION<--

-->GETTING YOUR 30 MINUTES IN MEDITATION<--

-->POSITIVE SELF-TALK<--

-->DAILY SWEAT SESH<--

-->HIRING A SITTER FOR A FEW HOURS<--

What are somethings that you will incorporate to make your holidays less stressful and filled with love and cheer? Share below, I would love to hear what you are currently doing for self care as well! 

Until next time, 

xo-K

Introducing my Anxiety named Rita

Life has taken a weird turn for me at the beginning of May and what we thought was late PPD due to weaning my 2 year old actually turned out to be my emotional dam breaking from years... and I’m talking YEARS of suppressed feelings, worries and emotions.

Buckle up friends, it is a crazy ride and I am ready to share it with you...
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Back story: 
4.5 years ago I gave birth to our first son, Westin. I was not in a good mental state, we were just married a year and some, we weren't ready for a baby, we partied every weekend prior to pregnancy, I ate like shit... and so my lifestyle then was hella dif than my lifestyle now and because of Westin, I turned my life around for the better. I started working on my fitness at first because I didn't realize mental health played any part of your over all well being . I just assumed workout workout workout and all your problems will be solved... #Naivetwentyfouryearold. I started to get busy with sharing my journey with others and then coaching them to turn their lives around to and soon I felt a deep passion and fire within me to serve those around me. Which resulted in me taking my Personal Training course and Fitness Nutrition course because, dang man, I can not get enough of the science behind how everything works.
For the last year my husband and I have been trying to have another baby but because I was breastfeeding my hormones were whack and I was just one of the lucky people who breastfeeding affects the ability to conceive hence why I weaned in the first place. I am, however, huge into believing that God has a bigger plan for us and everything we go through really helps us GROW and get to where we are meant to be. We have now stopped trying so that we can figure out how to control and live with my anxiety and my high emotions which have been suppressed for 20 years...

Yesterday while talking with my psychologist, she explained to me what she feels was happening and why anxiety actually happens. Humans are wired that way from cave man days and the neuroscience behind it is fascinating because I’m a nerd like that but it’s also crazy. I’m not gonna get into it hard core but here’s a crash course on neuroscience and anxiety they way my psychologist explained to me: Our PFC (Prefrontal Cortex) is where all our decision making & rational thinking, consequences for actions etc happens and it doesn’t actually get fully developed until ages 25-28(WHAT?!) and sometimes even later in males meaning up until then we run on high emotions and don’t really have a sense of good vs bad or right vs wrong or consequences for our actions (this made MEGA sense to me when I looked back on my life. How bout you?) 
Then we have the limbic brain.This is where all the emotional thinking and reactions stem from. The limbic cortex integrates the sensory, affective, and cognitive components of pain and processes information regarding the internal bodily state. 

When explaining it to me she used running into a bear analogy.

Imagine this: hiking in the mountains and out of the corner of your eye you see a dark shadow. Immediately you might think bear but then the rational part of your brain shuts down and the emotions in the limbic system take over producing cortisol and adrenaline and your heart starts racing, hands get clamy, your large muscle groups get all your blood and you will either stand still, run or fight ( this is your flight or fight system) so any threat whether psychological or physical will trigger the same response. Hence anxiety isn’t meant to make your life shitty it is meant to protect you. I didn't know this prior to yesterday and it felt like a game changer for me.
We are meant to survive in a tribe so if something we feel is threatening that (whether its real or hypothetical) creates these same triggers and BAM ANXIETY.
I recently had this with my husband because of past emotional trauma, the fact that I had trouble talking about my emotions for fear of being to "sensitive and emotional", and I honestly felt threatened in my marriage.

Was I? I don't know.. It felt real and it felt like I seen a bear but I think it was blown way out of proportion on my end and I do feel bad but it made all of this come to light and honestly if this didn't happen, I wouldn't have been diagnosed with anxiety, I wouldn't of found my voice, I wouldn't truly be able to work through all the painful shit that keeps coming into the light. As shitty as it was for both Nick and I, like y'all I feel he has been pushed so far out of his comfort zone as well, it is helping us work out the kinks and bumps we mostly likely would never work on because its not fun but it is necessary to become the best team<3

I realized since high school I have just been filling my life so busy that it never gave me time to feel much until I started this journey of self awareness that forced me to truly look inward and friends... **WARNING** THAT SHIT IS SCARY AF. Once you through hormones in there from weaning my two year old, well game over man..
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When my emotional dam broke it took on the form of anger, guilt, shame, blame, fear of my husband not loving me anymore, fear of abandonment, self loathing, a crazy inner mean girl, creating threats in my head that weren’t really logical or made sense, uncontrollable crying for days, untrusting, and a constant state of anxiety. I felt SO crazy, so alone, like no one understood me, that I was broken. I had the worst thoughts and at one point during this state I told my husband maybe it would just be best if I left.

 Looking back into those moments I cringe and wonder why the hell would I say such a thing? I now know, it is because my limbic brain took over and threw me into this state of irrational thinking and running on my emotions alone. Right now, while sharing this with the world it's causing some sweaty palms and tears welling up because up until my appt yesterday I had SO much guilt and even shame that I could ever feel and say those things. I felt like I was broken like I would never be able to trust my husband and that this on going loop would keep playing in my head making my anxiety spike everyday, 5x a day or more (and to be clear, it is not his fault at all by the way, I just have this deep rooted fear of abandonment that is taking on the form of not being able to trust anyone really and I have a complicated love language that makes him feel he is speaking a foreign language. ) He isn't a quitter though thank God and although thats what I used to do to avoid the hard conversations and the fears that went along with it, we shared vows and made a commitment to each other before God for better or worse and I just can't walk away from this one. He truly has my heart and though figuring each other out is hard it is 100% worth the struggle <3
                                             

So friends, that is what has been going on in my brain/life since May 12. I can tell you the EXACT minute that dam broke but I am thankful it did. 

I was recently told that marriage and anxiety go hand in hand. You really can't have one without the other. It made me think. Since we got married I threw myself into my work and then used my kids as excuses and then serving others as an excuse. I didn't want to think of "what if" because honestly we can lose our significant other at any moment or things could change on a dime and that is scary. Most people just stay busy so they don't ever show their anxiety or for the males it would most likely look like fear of not being able to provide for their families. 

Think about it! What do you usually say when someone asks you how you are? "Oh, things are good just so busy! You?"
It is like we have created this sense of accomplishment around a busy lifestyle when in reality we are all just scared of change, facing our own shit, or what might happen if we just slow the frick down. And ya,  slowing down had a HUGE impact on my life but it is for the best. I finally am feeling like little compartments are opening in my brain and allowing me to understand why I am the way I am, why I feel the way I do and why I love the way I love. 

I am no longer FUSED with my anxiety. She does not define me. In fact, she has her own name; Rita. Rita is just trying to protect me and keep me safe. When I feel her I place her over where I can see her. that way I can assess if she is really trying to protect me or if she is playing games on me. This was a challenge from my psychologist. To name my anxiety and it has been helping. 

Not everything is going to go back to normal asap, hell, do I even have a normal anymore or will I be creating a 'new' norm? Either way, I know I am not alone and I wanted to share this with you so you know you aren't alone either. Our emotions can turn on a dime. Example. I workout and felt awesome and literally as soon as I changed and got downstairs it was instant questions and my anxiety welled up. Its going to take time.

Asking for help and actually admitting that something is wrong is not the hardest part but it IS the first step. Breaking that emotional dam and then now having to revisit all the past trauma and shit that I have gone through and locked away, is the single most hardest thing I am faced with in my last 28 years and 356 days and friends, suprisingly  there is lots of shit that is showing its ugly head that I never thought could impact me the way it has. I never ever thought I needed a therapist, that I could work through it on my own. 
That was a BIG ASS lie I was telling myself just so I didn't have to feel this shitty going through it all with another human being because locked away in my head its like it never happened but once someone else knows its real and embarrassing and scary AF but breaking through that brings forgiveness, grace, faith, trust, hope and love and it is all worth it. 

To the wife who is struggling with feeling loved: remember men and women are different. It is a struggle but it is a struggle worth fighting for and seeking guidance if need be. Don't fight it alone and don't give up. He loves you and is doing the best he can with the tools he has <3

To the mom who is overcome with mom guilt: You are def not alone but remember you can't pour from an empty cup. Be sure to ask for help when you feel you are too overwhelmed. You can't be the mom you want to be when you are overwhelmed <3

To the girl who is struggling with shame and past trauma but not sure how to handle it: You WILL get through this. Seek guidance. Looking for a therapist/counsellor does not make you weak. It makes you IN CONTROL of your life. So work through that shit girlfriend and find the support you need to do so. <3

If you have no desire to learn about your struggles, why you have them, underlying issues that may be causing your depression or anxiety then by all means just carry on the way your are going but if you are ready to not let the anxiety define you then don't give it the power. You OWN it and DO the damn work to add tools to your tool belt to learn how to live with it the best you can. That is how we can get through this girlfriend. 

You with me?

Join my free wellness community over on FB for support and guidance. 

Let's do this damn thing together 

xo Kristie

Join the:>>> HIGH VIBES & BE WELL TRIBE

You Are Worthy of Living the Life You Love

📢Reminder PSA for the day:

Life will always be busy and throw curve balls your way, that’s just the age we are living in but YOU are free to do the things that make you feel alive and light your soul on fire.

Don’t just go through the motions day to day, LIVE your life✌🏼LOVE all ♥️, and schedule time in for YOU on the daily😘.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Currently the things I love:

•Being PRESENT in the time I spend with my husband @deeretechnick😘The last little bit has been rough as he’s busy and when he was home I just let other things come in the way of connecting with him. Don’t do that. Connect and be present together♥️even on the hard days

•Coffee dates with my friends and sharing my struggles, #wearemeanttoleanoneachother

•Laughing and being present with my boys. I’ve been getting snappy and irritated more than normal that’s a sign to lessen the load, #listentotheinnervoice

•Move my body. I need the running and lifting in my life for my physical and mental wellbeing.

•Loving people as they are. It has taken me a long time, regrettably, to do this but I have recently learned I couldn’t love others fully until Ive accepted my past and my brokenness which I had to learn in the form of a recent mental breakdown anxiety and depression. We often can’t come into the light until we experience the darkness #spiritualawakenings✨💛✨

Write a list of 5-10 things that you LOVE doing that fill you with joy. Incorporate 1 or 2 per day as self care breaks. 😘 You are worthy of them💜.

Ps. I would love if you shared them with me. Tag me on social stories or post @KristieSeredaWellness IG or Kristie Sereda on FB 🙌🏼  

My Summer Wellness Club Starts in June and it will be focusing on ALL nutrition and making YOU a priority. I have room for 3 more ladies who are ready to join and learn how to enjoy all things summer without feeling guilty or deprived. I will work one on one with you to help you get started on your journey to greatness ! 

Ps: I have 3 giveaways of goodies to those who pick a pack to serve you before May 31st. 

Fill out the form below to apply! 

The Mental Loop.. Say What??

"All we do is think about the feelings that we are hiding"

Do you ever notice that once you have an argument with a someone close to you, something goes wrong at work, your kids get into trouble at school or something far worse, your mind tends to replay the situation over and over, you wonder what you did wrong? Or you may end up with all these feelings of fear, stress, anxiety and can't seem to shift your mind to anything else. 

This is just the way our brains are wired. 

Negativity tends to ALWAYS be around whether we want it there or not and through personal development I have learned how to address it and break the mental negativity loop. 

Here are a few tips that I have learned: 

1.Practice Gratitude

One of the fastest ways to get the negative thoughts out of your head is to take note of all the GOOD that is around you and all that you have to be grateful for. If you tell me that you have nothing to be thankful for I beg to differ. Are you breathing right now? Are you able to read this? Have you eaten anything in the last 24hrs? Gratitude activates a TON of benefits in your brain! 

2. Slow Down, Breathe Deep

People can get so stressed out and worry about almost everything. Most of the time they go from one thing to the next without even slowing down to get ready for the next thing and just end up piling stress upon stress. Because of this you may make rash decisions because you can't think clearly. When you feel this happening take slow deep breaths. Oxygen helps and you would be surprised at how such a simple thing can make you feel so much better. 

3. Look For the Good

For example if your kids are having trouble in school and you are worrying it's a good thing because it means you deeply care. Try focusing on the emotion behind that worry (the love for your children, the desire to have the best for them) without inviting any negative thought. You are great parents and you are doing the best you can! 

4. Is There a Theme?

Human minds are wired for repetitive thoughts. So if something similar happens that has happened before you will have repetitive thoughts and emotions. We are creatures of habit and it is hard to break those habits but it can be done! 

Check out this book for creating habits if that is something holding you back : The Power Of Habit.

Each time you find yourself thinking these negative thoughts replace them with a positive mantra like: "Everything is happening for a reason." "I will trust this process"

5. Use Your Imagination

The same area of the brain is activated when we experience everything for real and when we imagine something vividly. Using the power of our imaginations can help us soothe our brains when worry and stress has us down in the dumps. Most of the time we can't change the current situations as fast as we would like, the process of imagination can help create real changes in our lives. 

However, we must accept that we can not control everything. We can let that drive us crazy or just be happy with the things we can control which is our feelings. 

YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE. IF YOU BELIEVE IT. IT CAN COME TRUE. 

The Missed Step-Why We Have Been Struggling to Become Successful

This book is a TOTAL GAME changer for me..in my life and my businesses. 

10X Rule by Grant Cardone 

Hey badasses!

I have been doing a lot of PD lately and I've recently discovered what I want out of this life and what I continue to strive for. When we put it out there others will either laugh at you... Let's be real here. There still are those negative nellies out that that think because they can't do anything to feel good about themselves, no one else can either OR others will jump aboard your train and want to ride with you. You will lift eachother up and help eachother out.

So a little homework for you today. Are you finding yourself stuck? Like you can't lose that last 10 lbs or you are having a heck of a time eating clean, or you want to get out of debt but just can not put money away?

Lots of the time it is because we KNOW where we want to be but we don't DO the big enough actions to get there. We must proclaim it to the world. We must put ourselves out there. We must DO THE DANG WORK and then we must continue to do the actions that allowed us to become successful.

The problem many people run into after they hit their goals is they stop. They don't need to do anything anymore. Well, what happens next? They fall back into the same ol trap that got them in the mess in the first place.

Starting is the hardest BUT it won't be hard ALL the time. It will come naturally and eventually it will just flow.
Another thing that people do and end up failing is they limit their success. They say they want to make only enough to cover the bills or they want to only lose enough to fit into their favourite pair of jeans.

Well WTF man! Why don't you want to make a Million dollars and be totally secure financially? Why don't you want to lose ALL of your extra weight and be fit, sexy and as healthy as possible?
Is it because you don't think you will get there?? Do you not BELIEVE you can do it?
I don't know about you but I rather come up short on a million dollars and still be pretty financially secure rather than short on paying my bills. I rather come up short on losing all of the extra weight then just a few lbs.

Do you see what I am trying to say???

DREAM BIG MY FRIENDS. DO NOT BE AFRAID WHAT PEOPLE THINK. THEY AREN'T THE ONES LIVING YOUR LIFE.. YOU ARE GOSH DARNIT! DO NOT LIMIT YOUR SUCCESS. YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

Phew... I was just yelling out loud.. I get a little excited sometimes when certain things hit me.. especially the last few days of watching these videos and reading my new PD book sure got me all riled up.

So I want you to REALLY think long and hard about this... Have you been limiting yourself? Have you been selling yourself short?

What do you want out of this life? What would you like to achieve?
What do you want your life to look like in the next 2,5,10,20 years?!